Who wears a wallet chain?!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
