One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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