@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
