That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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