Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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