tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
