I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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