you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize