Please, let me fuck your mom
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
