I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
