We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
