I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
