Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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