haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
