my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He did a backflip because drugs
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
