The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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