so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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