SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pants are for mortals
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
