its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
