i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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