I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
