I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
