Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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