wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
