Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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