Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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