bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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