Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
