I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
