How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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