does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize