i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
