i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
