WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need water and some morals
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
