? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
