I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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