Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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