Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
