This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
