The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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