i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
