Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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