the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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