Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
