I have demons in me.
i just google imaged poop.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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