So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
