Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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