You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
