You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
