as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
