Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
