I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
