my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
