I think my vagina is haunted
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
