yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
