IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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