I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
